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Golf Quips, Quotes, and Sayings...

Have you ever heard somebody say something, or read an article, or watched a commercial, TV show or video, and you find yourself laughing, or shaking your head up & down in agreement. Well, in my travels on the Internet, Golf Magazines, watching the Golf Channel, and listening to other golfers, whine, complain, laugh, and have some fun. Here are some of my favorite sayings, quotes, and quick witted quips from those listed, and I cannot confirm all of those who made the statements. But they're funny, and very much agreeable.

Golf is not, and never has been, a fair game.  Golf is a game you can never get too good at.  Golf is a compromise between what your ego wants you to do, what experience tells you to do, and what your nerves let you do.

The secret of golf is to turn three shots into two.

Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20 percent of the time, you're the best.

If there is one thing I have learned during my years as a professional, it is that the only thing constant about golf is its inconstancy.

The most important shot in golf is the next one.

Sam Snead - Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness.

Val Doonican - Golf is a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic.

Robert Lynd - Golf is so popular simply because it is the best game in the world at which to be bad.

Chi Chi Rodriguez - Golf isn't like other sports where you can take a player out if he's having a bad day.

Ernest Hemingway - One of the advantages bowling has over golf is that you seldom lose a bowling ball.

Bob Hope - Golf is the most fun you can have without taking your clothes off.

Bagger Vance's philosophy was that golf is not a game to be won.  He told Junah, "Golf is a game to be played".

Mark Twain quote- Golf is a good walk spoiled.

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.

Larry Nelson - Golf balls are attracted to water as unerringly as the eye of a middle-aged man to a female bosom.

Sam Snead - If you want to make more putts, pitch the ball closer to the hole.

They called this game GOLF, because all the other 4 letter words were taken.

Golf is not an easy game, why do you think they sell golf balls by the dozen.

The best wood in his bag is his pencil!

I don't have trouble hitting my woods, but its hitting out of them where I have trouble.

Golf is a hard enough game in an of itself, but do they have to make you do it 18 times!

I hope some of these gave you a chuckle, laugh or just helped pass the time. If you have some I haven't heard feel free to post'em up, and I'll include them as an add-on to this post.

Remember:  Keep 'em long and straight.

Tags: Golf Humor // Add Comment »